Sometimes, it happens that when talking whisky with a total beginner person you met at a random event or a more connoisseur friend, he/she pronounces some words that make you want to leave the place straight away and go hide yourself deep under a blanket with your purring cat, eating heartwarming chocolate cookies. I still decided to compile those dangerous phrases in an article, probably acting as some sort of masochistic catharsis process.
“Hey, I’ve heard Japanese Whisky is the best whisky in the world”
Like I’ve heard Kim Kardashian is the sexiest woman in the world… But hey, this is all subjective opinions here, too often relayed by non-specialised mass media. Hopefully I didn’t take it litteraly and start contouring and wearing way-too-tight dresses –
And I’m more into Cara Delevigne anyway (for the men around here, “contouring” refers to a specific make-up technique). I guess you also heard that whisky can help you lose weight… See, media aren’t necessarily conveying information you can rely on.
“Scotch is better than Irish Whiskey/Bourbon/Whatever right?”
Each time a statement begins with “better than”, I tend to put on some imaginary earplugs and do this ” -__-” (which could also be translated as “please leave me alone with your narrow mindset” face). Especially when it comes to whisky. This statement just doesn’t make any sense in 2016. There are so many different whisk(e)y profiles nowadays that you can sip some peaty American whiskeys as well as triple-distilled Scotch… There are no strict rules anymore, and that’s what is thrilling and exciting with the whisky industry.
“If you like the finest things, avoid blended whisky and go for Single Malt. I mean, Single Malt is the real deal my friend!”
And so would say Kanye West if he was to grow an interest in whisky. There’s been so many great pieces written already on that hot topic… Refering to Compass Box should be enough to convince any person of sound mind that despising blended whisky is just wrong.
“Good quality whisky has to be consumed neat, you don’t waste good whisky!”
“neat team” and “a-few-drops-of-water-to-open-up-your-dram team” have been fighting over this issue since as far as I can remember (which isn’t much though – something like 22 years old if we assume I lost any memories from my nursing school adventures). I’m more in team “whatever” also known as neutral or Switzerland. However, you should know that some of the most respected whisky experts will ALWAYS add a dash of water in their dram…
“Sorry mate, I only drink my whisky in a Glencairn glass”
Which is as stupid as saying that you only blow your nose in Kleenex tissues (not judging you if you do so though… Kidding, totally judging you.). No seriously, go explore the world, you’ll see, it’s full of other types of glasses that could suit your whisky. Stop bitting your fingernails if you don’t know where to start your glass discovery journey, see one example here… Let’s get wild!
“Scotch whisky is dead”
Waow, I bet you said the same thing of Jennifer Lopez before she signed a contract with a Las Vegas casino a few weeks ago and took booty shaking to a whole new level… Whatever, I’ll just quote one of my wise Twitter follower here : “Scotch existed well before there were critics and it will continue long after this particular one is dead” @bcaudill.
“I don’t trust the big firms anymore, I’m going micro! Micro distilleries care more about their products!”
Ola hipster-hippish friend, just keep in mind that there must be a reason why the oldest and most popular distilleries (such as Lagavulin, Laphroaig or Glenfarclas to name but a few) have remained so successful over the years. And maybe this reason is that their stuff is simply GOOD. Their know-how is unique and inherited from centuries-old traditions. That new micro-distillery may have a kick-ass design and appealing marketing, doesn’t mean they know their whisky better than longer-established and bigger distilleries. Big doesn’t necessarily mean bad.